So at around the time I packed my labour bag I also wrote up a draft birth plan that I gave to my midwife and husband. When I think about it a birth plan is really pointless, yes it forces you to think about labour and ideally how you would like it to go, but in reality you can never really prepare yourself for it, you can never judge exactly how your body will cope once it starts.
My birth plan was pretty simple:
- I wanted to try to give birth naturally, without the aid of medication
- I wanted to avoid an episiotomy at any cost
- I wanted to be free to walk around or get into any position I felt comfortable in
- I wanted very few internal examinations
- I did not want the cord cut until it had stopped pulsating
- I wanted Simon to have the chance to cut the cord when it was time
- I wanted instant skin to skin unless the baby required urgent medical attention
- I would like the use of Pictocin to help expel the placenta
- I did not want family members to enter the room until after I had been given the chance to feed my new baby
Its amazing looking back and thinking how little I actually knew about labour despite my every effort to read up and educate myself about all possible scenarios.
Push Push Push
It was a Sunday, 8 days before my EDD and 3 days after I lost my plug. I wasn't due to commence maternity leave until Monday however after a false alarm earlier in the week I'd called in sick for my last two work days and as such had been sitting at home for the last 4 days. Now that I think about it I know I should have never have uttered the word BORED, all I could think about was how on earth I was going to get through the next 8 days without losing my mind, and heaven help me if the baby came late.
If I had known then what I know now I would have enjoyed every last second of boredom.
Sunday was football day. Simon kicked off at around 3pm, but we always headed to the field early to cheer on the under 18s and Reserve grade side.Simon's game was a close one, and I was up and out of my seat a few times during the match to cheer, I noticed a few uncomfortable twinges in my belly towards the later parts of the game but thought nothing of it, putting it down to me being a little to active. We hung around after the game (which Simon's team had won) for a few celebratory drinks, It was around 7 when we got home and we decided that we'd go and see a movie (the hangover 2) at the 9pm showing. Through the movie I was terribly uncomfortable, movie seats at the best of times are uncomfortable, but when you are heavily pregnant they seem far worse, I kept fidgeting not able to find a comfortable position and starting to feel some pressure really low in my tummy.
We got home around 11pm, showered and hopped into bed, I think I fell asleep the instant my head hit the pillow i was so exhausted, but not 30 minutes later I woke up feeling slightly wet again, too embarrassed by my last false alarm I didn't wake Simon and got up out of bed and made my way to the bathroom and I kid you not, the second I stepped onto the tiled bathroom floor my waters broke. All I could think was thank goodness I was standing over a tiled area, the second thing I thought about was cleaning it up before I woke Simon, so I got out a mop and bucketed and started to clean.
Simon must have heard me, because the next thing I knew he was up and looking blankly at me like I had well and truly lost the plot. I told him my waters had broken, for real this time, and I needed him to call the hospital and ask them if they wanted us to come in.
Our hospital was about 20 minutes away, so when they said they wanted us to come in to check me out, we packed our bags and headed off straight away. At this stage I was not experiencing any contractions, so I knew that it was going to be a while yet until we got to meet out little miracle. After confirming that my waters had indeed broken and letting me know I was dilated around 2 cms the sent us to labour at home, telling me to come back once I could no longer manage the pain or if it got to 10am and I was still not experiencing any contractions.
We got back home around 1am, and after changing the sheets for the second time within a week lay down to try to get some rest, my mind ticking over at a hundred miles and hour. About 15 mins after I lay down I had the most intense contraction I had experienced, it last for around a minute long and eased off, 4 minutes after it had stopped I got another one, an even more intense one and I knew that this was happening. I got out of bed and walked around allowing Simon to get a little bit of shut eye, at around 2am and after constant 1 min long, 4 min break contractions I ran myself a bath, lit some candles and try to relax through them. It wasn't helping, the contractions were hard and fast and I hardly had a chance to catch my breath from the last one before the next one started up again, I laboured at home like this till around 3:30am and then made the call that it was time to go. Simon called the ward and let them know we were on our way back.
It's funny how long a 20 minute car ride feels when you're in labour............I swear it took far longer than it did earlier in the night, but once we arrived we were set up in our ward and I felt much more comfortable. I think it was knowing that I was safe, that no matter what happened that I was where I needed to be that made me feel reassured and as relaxed as someone could be whilst experiencing 1 minute long 3 minute rest back to back hard contractions.
It was about 5:30am when I started to feel exhausted, after all, I hadn't really had any sleep for around 20 hours, my body was working over time I was kneeling over a bean bag, I was in pain, and with each contraction the pain got more intense, it was now that my midwife asked if I would like to try some gas .Before taking it I asked if I could be examined, thinking that if I knew how much further I had to go I could, excuse the pun, push through it. I was at 5cm, and I took the gas without hesitation, breaking the first of my birth plan dot points, breathing it in deeply each time I felt a contractions start. The mid wife kept telling me I was doing a great job, that my body was working really hard and if I could keep it up our baby would be in my arms before lunch.
At 6am Simon called our parents letting them know that I was well and truly in labour and that they could come and visit some time around 1 or 2pm based on the mid wife's assumptions. Soon enough though the gas wasn't doing its job any more, it was 7:30am and at this point I am not ashamed to admit I looked at Simon and begged him for the epidural and he didn't hesitate in demanding it from the mid wife. Before we could get the Epi I needed to be examined again, it was 8am and I had only progressed another centimetre in 3 hours, I was completely disheartened, and although the mid wife kept telling me I had done such an amazing job, I could not believe that in 2 and a half hours I had hardly progressed at all. I got the epidural.
It was around 12pm when our parents arrived, both having travelled around 2 hours to get there I felt like I should break yet another of my birth plan points and let them come in to see me, having had the epi I was quite relaxed and able to talk to them for a few minutes, ensuring them I was ok, and apologising repeatedly for not having given birth to their grandchild yet. After they headed out to get some lunch the mid wife checked me again, I had reached 7cm - I still had a long way to go and the Epidural seemed to have really slowed things down. I was encouraged to have an injection of Pictocin to help rev up the contractions again, the first dose did nothing and as I was checked again at 3pm and still wasn't quite progressing fast enough they upped the dose and gave me another shot of the pictocon and encouraged me to start to let the epidural wear off a little to help speed things up. I started to feel my contractions come back and start to speed up, something was working.
I clearly remember the mid wife asking the doctor who came in while I was being anaesthetised to come in again around 5pm, he examined me, I was just over 8cm and he informed me if I wasn't fully dilated at 6pm, they would be taking me off to have a C-Section. It was then that I got really anxious - I had not wanted a C-section, that was not part of my birth plan, I let the Epidural wear off further, and now feeling the full force of every contraction was back in significant pain, my body was uncontrollably shaking and the mid wife informed me that this was my body's way of telling me I was almost done and would be able to start pushing soon. She was right. At 6pm and no later the doctor came back in, I was grunting and trying to control my language with every contraction, it was good news, I was at 10cm and I was ready to push.
I don't really remember much between 6pm and 7:46pm when my son was born, but I remember thinking that I was doing really well controlling my urge to scream and moan, later Simon told me I did not control these things well and that in fact he had never before heard me use such colourful language in such a nice way. I remember apologising repeatedly to the midwives and getting so unbelievably frustrated when they continued to tell me to use the energy I was using to moan to push..... really.... this was their advice.... had they never given birth??
With every push I could feel Cooper moving further and further down, then it happened, I experienced what women who have given birth can only describe as the "ring of fire". Cooper was crowning, and with every push I grew closer to seeing him for the very first time, then the midwife told me to stop pushing and to not push through the nest 3 contractions to allow my body to stretch, SAY WHAT! that was last thing I wanted to do, but I listened, and that my friends was the single most excruciating moment of my life.
3 pushes later, Cooper was born, he was perfect, and the look on Simon's face when we saw that he was a boy was something that I will never forget, it was beautiful. I had given him a son, teary eyed and full of pride we held Cooper between us, more in love than we had ever been before.
There are not many people I have told this, in fact, I'm not sure I have told anyone, but in the moment Cooper was born I didn't feel over powering love for him like I had been lead to believe I would, instead I felt more of a feeling like I had always loved him, that he'd always been a part of my life and that now it was my only job to protect him. The overwhelming sense of motherly love didn't hit me until about 3 weeks into having him at home, I remember looking down at him while he was nursing and thinking that I would not be able to survive with out him.
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| Our beautiful boy at only a few hours old |
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| Our first family photo |
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| Simon's first fathers day |
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