I think it's safe to say pre-teen now -- Happy 11th Birthday Coop

Someone hold me. The one that made me mum is 11!

It's honestly true what they say, the days are long but the years are short, and now we are on the precipice of the teenage years, there is no real need for me any more, though he may still want me he really is much more independent than even a year ago.

Over the past few months you've confided in me ever so sweetly about your first crush. You snuggled in for a cuddle and asked me not to laugh at you. We spoke about your crush and what you could do. We spoke about first and foremost respecting her, telling her how you feel, and being a good friend to her regardless of her feelings. I know that if you do that, any girl, be it this one or in the future will realise just how great you are mate. 

We've navigated some pretty interesting conversations coming out of the school playground, I won't embarrass you further by going in to depth but suffice it to say I hope more of these questions can be directed to your Dad in the future. 

Like Zoe we have our fair share of arguments. Unlike Zoe though, they are less emotionally charged, it's more out of frustration over how I am "soooo much stricter" than your friends parents, I wont even entertain the idea of a mobile phone until high school, we don't allow the types of video games, you tube  or apps your friends may have and that makes it hard for you. 

So far the hardest part of parenting is loving you so much you know you are loved but also making sure you don't believe the world (particularly our world)  revolves around you. That's just it though - our whole world changed when you arrived. My life in particular is divided into BC (before Cooper) and AC (after Cooper). I am a completely different person to the one I was before you were born. We want to support you and encourage you and we try to, too hard sometimes I think, probably to the detriment of our own sanity (I'm hoping as an adult you'll read this and wonder just how we managed to do it all - I can tell you mate, we gave ourselves up these last few years for you and your siblings and that was with us setting boundaries and teaching you that YOU aren't the only important person in our family). You hate missing out because the other kids have something on or that I just don't have the energy left to make it happen - and that's the balancing act we juggle between you and your siblings.

You never stop trying to be right, or talking - I honestly have no idea how your teachers tolerate it.

You still really love school and learning, you're interests are more mature now though, learning about history and science. You are still super active, enjoying a range of sports and outdoor activities. Our weekends with you are firmly centred around sporting commitments and friends parties. I don't see that changing any time soon. 

Over this past summer you started up a little weekend business mowing lawns and doing yard work for pocket money. Unfortunately, that can only last so long when every spare moment you have is spent at training. No doubt you'll start back at it over the summer when the days are longer and you only have cricket to compete with.  

This year we also opened you up to music. Your Uncle Michael now spends time with you each week teaching you classical guitar. I just love watching you learn, hearing you pluck at the strings. It's magical. 

For now you still ask me to tuck you in each night, and even after that call to me "good night, see you in the morning" and it melts my heart. You still need a tight hug when you're frustrated but I actually don't remember the last time you reached for my hand to hold.

This year you opted for a very basic store bought ice cream cake for your autumn birthday..... I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about not baking you one. I do hope though that I get to bake for you again next year. 

You'll never know how much I love you Coop. Thanks for making me a mum 11 years ago, it's been the best time of my life. 

11 –

• Height: too tall .... 
• Weight:37 kilo
• Loves: your mates, sport, gaming and fishing
• Best Mates: Liam, Lewis, Sam and Pax
• Hates: Your sister cheating in games, your sister anywhere near you, your sister in general, having to miss something because we have other plans, capsicum, not being able to have your own mobile phone and screen time limits of 1 hour a day.
• Favourite food: pizza – hands down, followed closely by Nachos or Buffalo wings
• Biggest highlight of the year – Kiama treetops zip lining, Cairns and snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef, Fishing out on a boat with Darren and Paxton,  Most Improved Player for 2021 Hockey season. Champions of the 2021 Long weekend Hockey regional Carnival and your first behind in AFL.

High 5 - Happy 5th Birthday Mason

Where do I even begin - how is it that we've reached 5, that kindergarten enrolments have been filed, that you have started junior league and been invited to your first birthday party? How is it that I haven't changed a dirty nappy in a year, that you now dress yourself and happily sing yourself to sleep without a night light? 

Perhaps the very notion of the past few years were caught up in the whirlwind you create with your busy little mind and body every day. You aren't my baby boy anymore - you are a smart, confident, cheeky, brave and boisterous boy.

This year you trotted off to pre-school without a care in the world. "See ya later mum" you called as you proudly walked on in. Apparently you cope much better with sitting still, listening and learning at school than you do at home, but that doesn't really surprise me.

We spent a lot of time together late in 2021 due to shut downs and isolations, I'm still so thankful for that time with you. While I may have found it overwhelming at times, the moments where we could set aside work and focus on fun with you were my favourite of the entire past year. Playing outside and laughing with you are the highlights of my days.

You are very clever. You know your letters and numbers and spend a lot of time still "reading" books.   

You are spending more and more time playing with Zoe which is really nice. You and Zoe are so similar, you love to make believe and play little games with toys. You are both strong voices in this house, demanding things are fair and equal. You always have a go at doing things yourself before asking for help and I really admire that in you. You love to go to the skate park on your bike or scooter and you are desperate for a skateboard next. 

You are social in every sense of the word, preferring the company of others over time alone and your cuddles could heal the world. 

Did I mention already that you are busy. GO GO GO GO GO all the time.  Sitting still takes concentration and being patient is so hard for you. You got your glasses early in 2022, and your Dad and I still can't believe how blind you were without them! When you first put them on, the big smile and excited exclamation "I can see really good now mum" was just so beautiful. You've been a rockstar about taking care of them, making sure they are always clean and out in their case when you're not using them. 

You still reach for my hand at every chance you get and love to sit all over me. I'm starting to forget how fragile you were 5 years ago, I'm starting to miss those moments of you as a baby and while I am so proud of how you are growing up I ache for you to stay this sweet and little for longer.

  

Halloween 2021 was a big highlight for you

   

Mason at 5:

• you are: 112cm tall
• you weigh 18.9 kilo
• you still have all your baby teeth, 
• you love: playing soccer or football in the front yard with Jackson (our neighbour), being the winner, going to pre school and the song "old man emu" by John Williamson
• your favourite food is: hot chips and sauce. 
• your best friend is Carter, but you've made some good friends at school (Jaxson, Mohommed)
• you hate: Showers, not being able to do what Cooper or Zoe are doing.
• you love to say "is that right mum" whenever you state something you think is right. The funniest thing you came out with this year was when Carter said he had a "broken heart because he was blind" you replied with "no, when you're blind you can't smell" 
• biggest event this year - spending a whole week with just Oma and Poppy at Forster doing a few fun camping trips, jumping of the Pier into the water by the lake and getting reading glasses.

Getting your glasses for the first time

It's your 5th birthday Carter

My sweet baby boy - you still remain my quietest and sweet natured child..... until you've got your hands on a football, then you turn into someone I'd liken to a WWE wrestling fan. You are intensely into football and spend 90% of your time playing or practicing. I often look out into the yard and see you commentating your own plays as you practice. It's adorable and oh so fun to watch.

We finally managed to get you in for some speech therapy this year. I know you won't remember but you would often mumble words, run words together and couldn't get your sounds out. Well, that's all turning around. You love speech therapy. You are excited to have your appointments and are proud of how well you are going. You take your "homework" seriously and ask me every day to do "your speech" with you. It's made a big difference in your confidence to speak up at school and to not let Mason dominate conversations. 

You were not shy or uncomfortable or even hesitant to go off to your first day of pre-school, despite being in a different class to Mason. In fact, as much as you love him, I think you liked having a class to yourself. Your little hand slipped out of mine,  let go and walked away into school  without ever looking back. I was so excited  for you and you beamed when I picked you up, full of new found confidence and freedoms. 

You received your first ever merit award for being a good role model at school. You listen and participate and demonstrate such respect for your teacher and coaches. On your birthday you headed off to play footy in Bungendore and came away with best of field and gosh were your proud. 

You are one smart cookie Carter. You learned so quickly to write your name and you love to read all matter of books. You are super intelligent but also so aware of your space. You still recognise when it's too much for you and you still take yourself off to play quietly on your own or put yourself down for a nap. You still love your cuddles and will always let me know when you need attention from me. 

We spent a lot of time together late in 2021 due to shut downs and isolations, I'm still so thankful for that time with you. While I may have found it completely overwhelming at times, the moments where we could set aside work and focus on fun with you were my favourite of the entire past year. Playing outside and laughing with you and your brother are the highlights of my days

You are sweet as sugar and stubborn as rock (particularly around apologising). You are look before you leap and always ask if ever in doubt. You are the Ying to Mason's Yang. You are not my baby any more and I long for these days to go just a little slower.

Carter at 5:

• you are: 113cm tall
• you weigh 19.9 kilo
• you still have all your baby teeth, 
• you love: playing  football in the front yard with Jackson (our neighbour), being Cooper's shadow, sleep and food.
• your favourite food is: Spaghetti or Nachos. 
• your best friend is Mohammad at school
• you hate: People (Mason) talking over you. 
• My most favourite thing you've said this year was whenever I said I had an appointment you'd say "for your eyebrows mum?" because you remember that one time i took you to my eye brow appointment.. and it was clearly a highlight 
• biggest event this year - spending a whole week with just Oma and Poppy at Forster, going on lots of fun camping trips and catching 21 fish in the space of 90 mins on holidays.

On cloud 9..... Happy Birthday Zoe

2022 and 9 years old. 

Another lap around the sun with you darling daughter and what a lap it's been. In the past 12 months you've suffered through more remote learning and lockdowns thanks to a pre Christmas COVID surge, changed schools, been selected for representative netball, been vaccinated, suffered from COVID infection, had 2 trips to Cairns to visit the Corwell's cancelled, finally getting there in April this year, loved having your cousin Hannah back in Australia and absolutely turned a corner with you reading and spelling.

  The tail end of 2021 was really uneventful for us as a family. We spent July through October in lockdown during remote learning and even after that we thrust in and out of isolation periods due to contact exposures through Dads work and the boys daycare. 

It was a rough end to the year for you, but in some ways I really think it helped you to focus on the new year and school ahead.

As you'll remember Dad and I decided to have you repeat year 3 in your new school. It meant that you would be able to compete with peers in Cross country and sports Carnivals and we believed it would help you gain confidence back with your reading and spelling. It wasn't long into your new school when during a parent teach interview the teacher remarked how well you are doing in class academically with the goals we'd set for you and how well liked and popular you were in class. You are thoughtful, kind, competitive and you won't be bullied or let others be bullied. 3 weeks in and you were running for Student Representative Council (you didn't get nominated this year, but I am sure you will in the future). 

We are still having disagreements, mostly over Cooper's growing independence and your lack there of.  It's hard being a mum and raising a daughter. The world just isn't as safe for you as it is for Cooper and rightly or wrongly I need to protect you from it for a little longer. I know it seems unfair, and believe me when i tell you baby girl I never wanted to be this way, but the truth is its safer for Cooper and his mates to walk to the shops alone than it is for you and your friends to, and it's hard to understand and I know how unfair it feels, but I so wish you wouldn't fight me so hard every time on this. Give me time, another year and maybe I'll be more comfortable with it. 

Living with the twins breaks your heart these days. You used to be their whole world, they were yours and yours alone but now that's changed. They aren't interested in anything other than what Cooper is doing, where Cooper is, what Cooper's eating. There are the odd occasions where they may tolerate having their nails painted or the faces plastered with make up, but as a whole you spend a lot of time angry and crying about having no one who loves you, how no one understands that your'e a girl and don't want to do "boy" things, and how you don't feel like anybody wants you around. I know it's hard for you, but it's also hard for me to hear this. I feel you are being well over dramatic, I try to support you and spend time with just you but it's not enough for you. It's not my time you want. You want to feel included and loved by your brothers. . They do love you..... we all love you, as the only daughter in my family, I understand more than anyone how it feels to be left out, but it's hurting you and you find it hard to control that emotion these days and we fight so much because of it. I just want you to be resilient, care free and I want you to not care about being included and just be your own person. Yet, you just can't get past it and it hurts me that we fight about this over and over and over again. It's my fear that you'll "run away" one of these days if I cant find a solution that works for you, I want you to know I have tried and I'm still trying to have you understand that you are so important to this family, whether you feel it now or not.  We're trying our best as parents Zoe and I hope when these next hormone charged years are behind us you'll see that.

With all that said though you still call out from bed each night "good night mum, have a good sleep, see you in the morning, I love you", you still run to me for kisses goodbye before school, for hugs at the end of the day. While we fight, we still love on each other every single day. I've never been the mum into nails or make overs, I know you find it frustrating that most of the playing I do with you kids is outdoors, kicking balls, riding bikes, going on adventures and not craft (which you still love by the way. Remember the awful parrot I painted when I tried really hard to do something you enjoyed baby girl). That's why your selection in the Yass u11 representative netball side was such a great thing for us. I absolutely adore watching you play and the carnivals are giving us a real chance to spend some time alone together. I love watching you run, I love your feisty soccer games, I love your spirit. I genuinely love everything about you.

Even though this year has been hard for us it won't surprise you that I still think you are the most amazing human being. I am honestly so lucky I get to call you my girl. I am in awe of your confidence and grit. You continue to be our little pocket rocket, your smile lights the room, you are absolute perfection and I am incredibly proud of the young lady we are raising. 

You are my Warrior woman 💖

Happy birthday my darling, you are truly wonderful. We love you. 

You Love: Athletics and running, netball carnivals, playing on the street with the neighbours till the street lights come on, 

Your Best friends are: Sophia, Teullia, Milla, Fatiha, Leah and Emmy

You play: Athletics, Soccer and Netball and boy do you push hard at all of them.

Your Favourite food is: tuna mornay, subway and sushi - nothing much has changed there

You hate: Rules, being the only girl, any meal with red meat - though I insist you eat it 

You want to be: an Athlete and a singer

You have: lost 6 teeth - and we are about to embark on your orthodontic journey to braces

The most memorable events for you: Kiama tree top zip lining, snorkelling the great barrier reef, flying on your very first plane, staying with the Cordwells in Cairns

You are - 134cm tall

You weigh   29.7kilo