You know as this new little miracle grows in my womb I start to think back on those early days with Cooper and I start to panic..... I don’t remember anything I did, what did my routine look like? How did I manage to know what he needed and when and how in God’s name did I stay on top of the housework?
How did I know that Cooper had wind, reflux, teething, was eating enough or was hot, cold or slightly constipated? How do you go from having held a baby only a few times in your life to knowing exactly what to do the moment he or she is placed in your arms for the very first time, with absolutely no fear?
The truth is the mother instinct is so strong in some that you just know. For me I felt like I had been a mother for years after the first week of Cooper life. I didn’t remember what it was like not to have him to care for or love, and that was OK by me, because once I held him in my arms I knew my life before he had been born was not whole.
I remember taking him to the Doctors and being told by 3 separate Doctors on 3 separate days that he did not have a chest infection, but I persisted until finally someone agreed, I remember saying “I do not care that my son seems happy enough right now, he is not himself, he is extremely unwell and he needs medical attention”, and what do you know we spent the night in hospital with suspected pneumonia. Its true mother does know best and don’t ever let anyone tell you any different. No doubt I have had help along the way, I have leaned on both my mother and mother-in-law for advice and having such a wonderful mothers group has been a blessing in the weeks where I didn’t think I could cope any longer, but in essence I have always done what I thought was the right thing to do based on pure gut instinct.
So now I stop to think, it doesn’t matter how many books you read, how hard you try to remember what you did last time, or how many mothers you speak to, Motherhood comes naturally, as you’ve read for me this was the case with Cooper and suddenly all the fears I have about not remembering what I need to do once this little one arrives have flown away and I know I will be the best mum I know how to be, just like I did the first time.
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| Rushby number 2 @ 13 weeks |
