On cloud 9..... Happy Birthday Zoe

2022 and 9 years old. 

Another lap around the sun with you darling daughter and what a lap it's been. In the past 12 months you've suffered through more remote learning and lockdowns thanks to a pre Christmas COVID surge, changed schools, been selected for representative netball, been vaccinated, suffered from COVID infection, had 2 trips to Cairns to visit the Corwell's cancelled, finally getting there in April this year, loved having your cousin Hannah back in Australia and absolutely turned a corner with you reading and spelling.

  The tail end of 2021 was really uneventful for us as a family. We spent July through October in lockdown during remote learning and even after that we thrust in and out of isolation periods due to contact exposures through Dads work and the boys daycare. 

It was a rough end to the year for you, but in some ways I really think it helped you to focus on the new year and school ahead.

As you'll remember Dad and I decided to have you repeat year 3 in your new school. It meant that you would be able to compete with peers in Cross country and sports Carnivals and we believed it would help you gain confidence back with your reading and spelling. It wasn't long into your new school when during a parent teach interview the teacher remarked how well you are doing in class academically with the goals we'd set for you and how well liked and popular you were in class. You are thoughtful, kind, competitive and you won't be bullied or let others be bullied. 3 weeks in and you were running for Student Representative Council (you didn't get nominated this year, but I am sure you will in the future). 

We are still having disagreements, mostly over Cooper's growing independence and your lack there of.  It's hard being a mum and raising a daughter. The world just isn't as safe for you as it is for Cooper and rightly or wrongly I need to protect you from it for a little longer. I know it seems unfair, and believe me when i tell you baby girl I never wanted to be this way, but the truth is its safer for Cooper and his mates to walk to the shops alone than it is for you and your friends to, and it's hard to understand and I know how unfair it feels, but I so wish you wouldn't fight me so hard every time on this. Give me time, another year and maybe I'll be more comfortable with it. 

Living with the twins breaks your heart these days. You used to be their whole world, they were yours and yours alone but now that's changed. They aren't interested in anything other than what Cooper is doing, where Cooper is, what Cooper's eating. There are the odd occasions where they may tolerate having their nails painted or the faces plastered with make up, but as a whole you spend a lot of time angry and crying about having no one who loves you, how no one understands that your'e a girl and don't want to do "boy" things, and how you don't feel like anybody wants you around. I know it's hard for you, but it's also hard for me to hear this. I feel you are being well over dramatic, I try to support you and spend time with just you but it's not enough for you. It's not my time you want. You want to feel included and loved by your brothers. . They do love you..... we all love you, as the only daughter in my family, I understand more than anyone how it feels to be left out, but it's hurting you and you find it hard to control that emotion these days and we fight so much because of it. I just want you to be resilient, care free and I want you to not care about being included and just be your own person. Yet, you just can't get past it and it hurts me that we fight about this over and over and over again. It's my fear that you'll "run away" one of these days if I cant find a solution that works for you, I want you to know I have tried and I'm still trying to have you understand that you are so important to this family, whether you feel it now or not.  We're trying our best as parents Zoe and I hope when these next hormone charged years are behind us you'll see that.

With all that said though you still call out from bed each night "good night mum, have a good sleep, see you in the morning, I love you", you still run to me for kisses goodbye before school, for hugs at the end of the day. While we fight, we still love on each other every single day. I've never been the mum into nails or make overs, I know you find it frustrating that most of the playing I do with you kids is outdoors, kicking balls, riding bikes, going on adventures and not craft (which you still love by the way. Remember the awful parrot I painted when I tried really hard to do something you enjoyed baby girl). That's why your selection in the Yass u11 representative netball side was such a great thing for us. I absolutely adore watching you play and the carnivals are giving us a real chance to spend some time alone together. I love watching you run, I love your feisty soccer games, I love your spirit. I genuinely love everything about you.

Even though this year has been hard for us it won't surprise you that I still think you are the most amazing human being. I am honestly so lucky I get to call you my girl. I am in awe of your confidence and grit. You continue to be our little pocket rocket, your smile lights the room, you are absolute perfection and I am incredibly proud of the young lady we are raising. 

You are my Warrior woman 💖

Happy birthday my darling, you are truly wonderful. We love you. 

You Love: Athletics and running, netball carnivals, playing on the street with the neighbours till the street lights come on, 

Your Best friends are: Sophia, Teullia, Milla, Fatiha, Leah and Emmy

You play: Athletics, Soccer and Netball and boy do you push hard at all of them.

Your Favourite food is: tuna mornay, subway and sushi - nothing much has changed there

You hate: Rules, being the only girl, any meal with red meat - though I insist you eat it 

You want to be: an Athlete and a singer

You have: lost 6 teeth - and we are about to embark on your orthodontic journey to braces

The most memorable events for you: Kiama tree top zip lining, snorkelling the great barrier reef, flying on your very first plane, staying with the Cordwells in Cairns

You are - 134cm tall

You weigh   29.7kilo

A double digit birthday - Cooper

 

Doubt Digits – ten years old already

 

Well shit mate, here we are. Me struggling to get through the very thought of writing this, you asleep soundly in you room oblivious to the big emotions I’m feeling as I watch you grow up, as you verge on the edge of a double digit birthday.

Your room smells like boy now and it is no longer that sweet baby boy smell.  You’ve asked me once or twice recently if I can buy you deodorant, I’ve been reluctant, more in denial than anything, but honestly it’s probably time now. This double digit birthday is a big one for you, for one you’ve asked repeatedly since your 6^th birthday to be able to play fortnite with your friends, my response has always been “when you turn ten” and now you’re here and I’m wishing I’d said thirteen. Secondly after last year you get to have all your mates around, nerf war fighting and having fun.

 

Now lets talk about your last 12 months, 2020 was tough for many, but boy oh boy was it tough on you.  The first week of lock down saw you face down on the trampoline angry and upset beyond words that you couldn’t be with your friends. Then there was 6 weeks of zero technology at the farm, no sport, no sleepovers, no fun….. until there was. School went back face to face, sport recommenced, I started to feel comfortable letting you hang out with your friends – and then we moved. We tried to sell the move to you by giving you the biggest room all to yourself, the freedom of being able to walk around / ride around the neighbourhood and down to the shops without my watchful eyes over you, the yard space, membership to the pool….. but none of that mattered. You hated adjusting to having a room to yourself, you suddenly became afraid of shadows and the dark because of the sound and darkness of the country at night. You hated that play dates had to be planned, that I would not just let you go to someone’s house after school any more or between trainings and you weren’t impressed with the bus ride into and home from school a couple of times a week.  Then there was Pax, your very best mate from the age of 3, a mate you spent 6, sometimes 7 days a week with year-round moving to Cairns. I could see how much that hurt you, for a while you felt a little lost, getting in trouble at school, issues with other kids, really unleashing all your frustrations for things out of your control onto me. It was hard for me to help you through last year with so much change, but with a new year came a new you and you started to thrive again, you’ve still got some of that lingering attitude but I’m assured that that’s just how it’s going to be for the next few years, and reading back on this I hope you can now understand why your Dad and I made the decisions that we did. We did them for you, to shape you into the man we want you to become, someone resilient, fair, kind, and strong with good leadership qualities and an understanding of what a supportive family unit looks like.

 

No surprised that another year means another sport, this year trying your hand at hockey and as always it seemed to come fairly naturally to you. I’m pretty proud of the fact you are willing to try to have a go at almost anything and you always do so with focus and determination.  Your cricket season last year was no different either, deciding that you weren’t a pace bowl but a leg spinner you convinced the coach to let you work on that and you got better and better each game. You ended up taking out the coaches award for persevering and practicing your spin with real dedication and commitment.

 Academically you still do really well at school, with the biggest complaint from teachers being that a) you are too talkative and b) you help others too much and don’t enable them to figure it out themselves.

 I’m not quite ready for 10 and what happens after it, all the books I read tell me I have to keep insisting on hugging you and spending time supporting your interests, hearing you (no matter how brain numbing I find the discussion about Minecraft to be), challenging you to be independent and to take calculated risks and setting clear boundaries and sticking to them. All of that seems easy enough when you read it, lets hope it is just that, that parenting you remains as fuss free (for the most part) over the next year as it has up until this point.

 

 I love you kid. I know I’m tough on you but god I love you. I love the person you are becoming and the place you have in this family. Keep being you Coop and you will achieve whatever it is that you have your sights on. Happy 10th birthday I am so very proud of you. 

10 –

• Height: too tall .... i'll have to remember to measure you and add it later
• Weight:33 kilo
• Loves: your mates, sport, gaming and reading.
• Best Mates: Liam, Lewis, Sam, Pax and Issac R
• Hates: Your sister intruding on your space, screen time limits, homework that’s prescribed by mum, heights and capsicum.
• Favourite food: pizza – hands down.
• Biggest highlight of the year – returning to face to face schooling, first place in the 2021 100m back stroke, coming in runners up as best and fairest for the 2020 footy season, climbing Mt  Kosciuszko and holidaying for a week with Liam at Forster last winter holidays.
  
  
  

4 years old.... Carter Rushby

Forever my baby boy, quiet and thoughtful Carter, you're 4 now! 

You still love a quiet place to play alone when you can get it, you'll read quietly alone or play with your cars or lego and don't like to be interrupted. You can't get enough of watching the Raiders play, if you hear a game of footy on TV you will run out screaming go raiders, you love Papa (Papali'i) and Crocker and will yell at the TV just like daddy when there's a knock on or try scored.

You love to tackle and be like Papa, always asking to play football and getting cross when I laugh at you for calling "held, tackle one" or "knock on, hand over" each time you do. There's no doubt that you'll love being enrolled in footy next year, but for now you are happy to kick the ball around in the yard and to play soccer with Mason, though you aren't as enthusiastic about non contact sports.

Although it took you 2 or 3 months longer to decide to attempt toilet training, you actually learnt much more quickly than Mason, less accidents and dry over night by your 4th birthday! You are not so keen on riding your bike without trainers - preferring to scoot rather than ride.

You still jump out of bed each morning demanding breakfast like you haven't eaten for weeks and every morning you devour it!

Just like Mase, you've come in leaps and bounds since starting daycare 4 days a week. You count, sing songs, name colours and letters all in preparation for pre-school next year! We are so proud of you. You still mumble your words a little, but you are 4 after all and most of that comes down to you being spoken over a lot of the time. You definitely speak more with actions than you do with words! 

You've taken to Yass life very well, you love the space outside and the area to play with "your Rudiger" you like the freedom to walk and explore and to find a small corner of the house to sit in solitude.  

  

You are such a special and beautiful soul, so much like Cooper but also very much unique. I am besotted by you, I love you and I wish you the best 4th birthday ever!

4 years old:

• you are 107.5cm tall 
• you weigh 18 kilo
• you have all your teeth, and yes some are chipped 
• you love: the Raiders, big cuddles, sleeping, avengers shows, playing with Zoe, reading, playing on the oval kicking balls, tackling, football and riding your scooter 
• your favourite meal is spag bol. but if you are hungry you'll eat anything... and you are always hungry.
• you hate: when Mase wants to join in on your games with Zoe,  when Cooper doesn't pass you the football, waking up, saying sorry and people trying to talk for you.
• your best friend is Mason, you love him and you hate him all at once! 

• 

Mr Mason is 4!

Can you believe we are now only 6 months away from no childcare fees! You are 4 now, which means you can go off to preschool next year, and boy are we ready for that! We've set you up with your enrolment and we can't wait to see you shine!! 

In the past 12 months you FINALLY stopped wearing nappies, you learnt to ride your bike without training wheels and can be reasoned with now without a full blown meltdown.... most of the time!

You've managed to learn your colours and numbers and can correctly identify certain letters of the alphabet all without me spending hours teaching you! You are so very clever! We still read every other night and you love hearing stories, but you'll also "read" your own books in bed and make believe with your toys to act out the stories you've heard. A latest favourite is playing mums and dads with Zoe and calling her "darl" or "babe" as you pretend to talk on the phone to her. I will often find you singing a little song to yourself as you play or rocking out to music in the car. You are one out there, confident kiddo!

In October when we moved house, mum started a new job and Sini went back home to Finland you started 4 days a week daycare. You love it! Each day there's exciting things to tell me or show me and I never have to worry about you crying at drop off!

You still don't stop. You are always talking, calling to mum from your bed every night "I need to tell you something" only for me to walk in and have  you randomly start describing something just to avoid going to sleep. You like to ask to sleep over in Carters bed, and even when I say no, I'll find you there the next morning. 

You are officially the first Rushby kid to get stitches, smashing your head open on a cement park bench this year. A big scar through your Right eyebrow to show for it, but boy were you brave!

This year we enrolled you into soccer, and you love it. Even though Mummy will sometimes be coaching Zoe's team, you'll happily go over and do your skills and start your games without me. 

I adore your big hugs and "i love yous", I can't get enough of your cheeky grin. Everything about you is so YOU and I just can't get enough of my Mustard Mason!


Mason at 4:

• you are: 106.5cm tall
• you weigh 16.9 kilo
• you have all your baby teeth, with more and more of them getting chipped as you tear through things
• you love: playing soccer, being the winner, wrestling with Carter, Cooper and Daddy; going to the park and playing with your hot wheels cars.
• your favourite food is: chips, also is tomato sauce a food? You do love tuna morney, spag bol and grilled chicken with vegetables
• your best friend is Carter, but you speak often about your "Kookaburra" friends Lachlan and Jasper.
• you hate: Going  to sleep, not being able to do it yourself, being left out, sharing mum and waiting.
• you love to say "cheeky hedgehog" whenever someone does something funny.
  

Our little Lady - 8 years old today

Poppet turns 8

Well here we are 2021, another year gone and what a crazy year it's been. The days were long but the year of 2020 seemed much longer - it felt as though there was no escaping it. Though towards the end of 2020 life in Australia, and for our family really settled back into some normality. We holidayed in the summer, spent time with Family and in groups and even got back to competing in Saturday sports. In October we bought a new home and that meant you were finally free of sharing you possessions and space with your big brother. While he wasn't so keen on the move, you thrived, instantly making friends with the neighbours daughter (Bella) and ensuring that you had plenty of opportunities to get to see your biggest athletics competitor but also close friend Teuilla now we live in Yass. As with every other year that goes by, you've grown more an more into a healthy, confident and caring person this year. I didn't think it was possible for you to be any more helpful than you were last year, but you really have been. Towards the end of 2020 our very close family friends (the Cordwells's) relocated to Cairns, you took Leah moving away very hard, there were many many tears, even now 6 months on you mention how you miss her. I love to overhear you both giggling via facetime as you chat to one another every other week and I know you can't wait to visit them in July. You've definitely found year 3 to be much harder academically, and it was this year we discovered that you actually have some mild Dyslexia. You hate that we've intervened and asked for you to have some additional support at school and that we make you do tutoring at home, but as you fight with me on this I keep assuring you, one day, when you're much older, you will thank us for doing so.  We are definitely fighting more these days, it's probably because we are both as stubborn as one another, both too insistent on being right and I do love that about you. You still show great leadership and are extremely resilient and you are not afraid to break away from the pack to do what you like to do, even if that means you are doing it on your own. I honestly admire your perseverance and motivation to be better at things. You still favour Carters company over anyone else, however you are starting to spend a bit more time with Mason, even asking for him to have sleep overs in your room. I can see how hurt you are when they choose Cooper over you, and its going to happen more and more as they grow up. Don't worry, they'll soon realise how special it is that they have you as their big sister and eventually they'll be the ones looking out for you. 

I am actually a little lost for words as I write this. I feel like you grew and matured so much in this past year and that time is escaping us. I couldn't be more thankful for you, couldn't be any more proud or any more overwhelmed by how perfect you are inside and out. 

You are such a fire cracker Zoe, a bright spark on dark nights, an absolutely sparkling diamond so unique and precious everyone who knows and loves you can't fathom how wonderful it is to have you in their lives. I am one incredibly lucky mum to call you mine.  I'm so thankful you are my daughter and you are the absolute apple of your Dad's eye. He will eternally be besotted by you.

You Love: Athletics and running, being right, being a big sister, cooking and soccer.

Your Best friends are: Sophia, Teullia, Ruby and Emmy 

You play: Athletics and Soccer and you're a super star at both

Your Favourite food is: tuna mornay, subway and sushi

You hate:  needles (every year the flu vaccine is an absolute nightmare for you).Having to follow anyone else’s rules is not your thing, not getting to stay up as late as Cooper causes absolute meltdowns, and the eyerolls I get when I ask you to clean your room and put your clothes away (properly) would indicate you hate those things too.

You want to be: an Athlete, dancer and teacher when you grow up 

You have: lost 4 teeth - including both your top two!

The most memorable events for you: Another 2nd place in the Age Champion for little athletics, being asked to come and train with a group of middle distance runners called Brian's Bunch, moving into your own bedroom,  climbing to the highest point in Australia (Mt Kosciuszko) and saying good bye to Sini.

You are 128 cm tall 

You weigh 25kg  

I love you baby girl, happy birthday!

9 - Happy birthday Cooper

Happy 9^th Birthday Cooper

 

Wow what a year.

 I don’t know where I should start with this birthday letter. I suppose, if I’m honest I’ll start by saying that I know how hard the past 9 months in particular have been for you. You more than the others have really suffered through what everyone keeps referring to as “unprecedented times”. While there are days where I think your Dad and I have done well to shelter you from the stressors of the past year, I know you have felt let down by us and disappointed in our decisions whether they be within our control or not.

 At 9 there’s a level of understanding you have about the world around you, and while we can try to protect you it’s not always possible. I’m sorry that you have felt the impact of the past year more than the others. I’m sorry sport was cancelled because of smoke, threat of fire, flood and COVID. I’m sorry that school was closed, that you were unable to be with your friends and that we chose to spend such a large amount of time remotely. We honestly believed that the time on the farm would be better for your mental health, and I’m sorry you felt it isolated you further from your friends. I’m sorry you felt home schooling was hard and that I pushed you too much. When you read this, I hope you understand that all of those decisions were made in your best interest and out of love, but also because we were afraid and while everything may have stopped for you they didn’t for us and that that we did what we believed was best.

 

While for your birthday we were back in Canberra it was different than birthdays before, parks were closed, businesses were closed, there were rules to how many people could be in a house at any one time; and for you that meant it was only Liam would could celebrate with you.

 

Now, I want to focus on you, this is your birthday letter after all and there are so many things about you this last year that I am so proud of:

1)      Towards the end of last year you made a really hard decision not to write Paxton’s name down on who you wanted to be in a class with for 2020. You recognised that the fierce friendship you two have was impacting on your ability to concentrate and learn in class.  

2)      This year you’ve risked your own safety to assist others. Swimming out to help your cousin Dean who’d jumped in too deep off the pier at Forster, and throwing yourself in front of Carter so the 9 seater glass outdoor dining table fell on your instead of him.  

3)      Your attitude toward sport. You play for fun and to be with your mates and while at times the super competitive side of me wishes you showed a little more competitive nature, it’s nice to see that you are gracious in both winning and defeat.

4)      Your independence and level of maturity. I can trust that you will make the right choice.

 You’re a truly remarkable 9 year old. As you grow I can see you start to pull away, I can feel some attitude creep into your responses and behaviour, and given the circumstances we understand, but we also understand that these next years are going to feel like the hardest for you, too old for many things you used to enjoy but not yet old enough for a lot of things you want to try too. I’ll try not to embarrass you at footy, or get out of the car on crossing wearing my ugg boots, I won’t lecture you about bed time or brush your hair in front of your friends but I will love and support you, and I’ll try my hardest to keep you safe no matter how difficult it is for you to let me.

 

At 9:

Your best friends are: Paxton Cordwell, Liam Carter and Lewis Kelsey

You love to eat all the time, your favourite foods are anything that doesn’t have capsicum.

You haven’t lost any additional teeth from your birthday last year.

You play: Cricket and League

now you're 3 Carter....

My baby boy my goodness how this year has flown. Every single day is a joy with you in it, with your warm cuddles and when you place your hands on my cheeks and give me sweet kisses. Days with you fly by, because days with you are full of fun, smiles and giggles.

You still love a quiet place to play alone when you can get it, I often hear you talking to your toys and playing "make believe" in your room. You have found your voice and while you still aren't a huge fan of talking to people I know your vocabulary has grown exponentially over the last few months.

You run down the hall each morning demanding breakfast like you haven't eaten for weeks, and every morning it makes me smile.

You love the secret little club you and Zoe have formed, the exclusivity, time away from the others and her devout attention to you.

I know the whole concept of COVID19  is lost on you. I'm really thankful for extra time out on the farm with wide open spaces fresh air and the love and care of your grandparents. I'm thankful all you experienced was having your mum home for more hours of the day. I don't think you'll ever appreciate how lucky I felt to have this extra time with you. For me, this global pandemic was a wonderful time to slow down and reflect on the most important things in our typically busy lives, and coming out on top was quality time with you and your siblings.

You are such a special kid Carter. I love you. Happy 3rd birthday, I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us.

At 3:

• you are 100cm tall and 16.5kilo heavy
• you have all your teeth, and yes some are chipped 
• you love big cuddles, stolen kisses, playing with Zoe, reading cranky bear on repeat, watching the Julia Donaldson books on i-view, finding worms and snails, playing on the oval kicking balls, riding your scooter and sleeping
• your favourite meal is anything that you can put sauce on
• you hate: when Mason interrupts your quiet time, waking up, apologising, when anyone asks you to do something you don't want to.
• your best friend is Mason, perpetually telling people at day-care he is "your Mason"