I thought about discarding my OPKs and charting and just doing it the old fashioned way, by humping it out as often as my husband could take, but the control freak in me just couldn't. It's in my obsessive compulsive nature that I am organised and informed and the thought of leaving it to chance and missing my most fertile window kept me testing and temping.
Telling people you're trying.
As I'm sure many women will attest, the responses after telling family or friends you've been unsuccessfully trying are hard to take. Most will firstly tell you to "relax and it'll happen", and it's with a response like this that I have to restrain myself from punching them in the mouth. The other response is something like "Well, at least you have one child. Lots of people don't even have that". They are right, I do have one beautiful baby boy, we are incredibly lucky to have been blessed with him. I am thankful everyday for him. I am also aware that in the big scheme of things trying for a few months unsuccessfully is not a big deal, but the idea of only having one child was heartbreaking. To think that we would never have a sibling for Cooper ripped my heart out, hopefully that will never be a reality, but those thoughts as irrational as they may seem will always creep into my head the second I see a negative test.
It's a funny thing - with a first pregnancy it's all very secret, very few people tell anyone that they are trying the first time around, not to mention the 12 week wait to announce it all. The second time around however it seems far less secretive or private and it's easy to talk about with your closest, most non-judgemental friends. In fact, I honestly believe if you can trust you friends enough to confide in them without feeling that overwhelming pressure telling your families may bring it can be a huge relief when you find that you are struggling and need a shoulder to cry on for support.
Could it be Positive???????
It was cycle 5. We'd been given the all clear from my Doctor 2 weeks after my surgery to try again. We weren't expecting much this month, given all that had happened I was almost certain we wouldn't fall pregnant until after our trip to Hawaii (two months away). Simon played his last game of football for the season on Saturday the 25th of August, after a terrible season and a terrible month and a half I decided that I was going to go out and enjoy a few drinks (having not had a drink for so long I can't even remember) with my Hubby after the game. My conscience told me the responsible thing to do was to take a pregnancy test just for peace of mind. Simon was still in bed and as I tested and I had no intention of waking him to see a negative result. After I washed my face I looked down at the test, was that a second line? I stared at the test, holding it so close I could smell the urine. There was a second line. I screamed and told Simon to get up, he didn't, just replying "what?" I begged him to get up to look at the test, he looked at me and told me to calm down and bring the test to him. I was shaking, I could not believe there was a second line there. Simon looked at the test saying it is very faint ..... he didn't understand the concept of a line being a line, and kept telling me not to get my hopes up and that he would reserve all excitement until a doctor had confirmed it - how I loved my level headed husband, but as the line got darker I could see the hope in his eyes. To get a second opinion I took a picture of the test and sent it to my best friend - and her simple reply of "yep your pregnant" brought on another wave of tears!
Still shaking I get Cooper up, get him dressed and head to the chemist up the road to get more tests. I took seven tests in all ($47.00 worth in total), all revealing positive.... I sat down and cried, I could not be happier and once I composed myself I called my doctor and he agreed to see me straight away given my recent complications and past thyroid results.
I think my doctor was almost as excited as I was, he was very quick to congratulate me and told me there was no point in confirming it with a blood test seeing as though all seven tests were clearly positive, but took blood to run all the normal pregnancy related tests and to double check on my thyroid activity.
The next 3 days took forever, just waiting for the test results and in the end, and in true Helene and impatient fashion I called him. It was good, no wait, it was GREAT news. All my blood work came back clear and my thyroid levels were completely normal. Simon had no choice but to be excited now and I promptly did a little happy dance around the lounge room!
Keeping it secret was hard - I wanted to shout from the roof tops, post all over facebook and call every one of my closest friends - but I didn't, instead we opted to tell our parents and our closest friends but no one else until our ultrasound at 12 weeks. However is his excitement of being a Dad again, Simon couldn't help himself, spilling his guts at work, which meant it wouldn't take long for word to spread through my work place (the down side of working in elite sport in Canberra - everyone knows everyone). In an attempt to save my boss the embarrassment of finding out via the sporting grapevine I decided to confine in him and our administrator.
At what I thought was 12 weeks 3 days I headed off with Hubby and Cooper in tow to meet our new baby. Within moments we were given the news we were actually 13 weeks 3 days along and the baby was perfectly healthy!
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