Mason's 6th birthday

So here we are at your 6th birthday. You've had an amazing year and I am loving this age with you. You come out with some absolutely cracking one liners and you love playing the clown. You have loved the move into kindy this year, you are engaged in your learning and your teacher tells me you continue to take on a leadership role among peers and listen and display respectful learning in class. Over the space of a term you have made leaps in your reading and writing and you really love maths. You received a merit award term 2 for your helpful nature and positive attitude which I love.

You are a busy, inquisitive and caring little boy. You spend your time turning over rocks to find creatures you beg me to keep as pets, playing with the kids in the street and snuggling up with me whispering sweet things like "I'll still love you when I'm old and even when I'm dead I'll love you from heaven". 

Your bond with Zoe continues to strengthen. The two of you are two little matched souls, fully of fire and spark but also an advocate for those who aren't as fierce as you are. You and Coop don't often see eye to eye, like Zoe your relationship with him is up and down but every now and then you come together and your face lights up.

The things I love most about you is just how sweet you can be. I mean man you are go go go all day, pushing everyones buttons, being an antagonistic little jerk face but despite all of that as I tuck you into bed you squeeze my body tight and tell me how much you love me. You are always checking in with me, reaching for my hand or finding any little free space to be touching me. 

Mason at 5:

• you are: 117cm tall
• you weigh 20.5 kilo
• Can you believe you still have all your baby teeth, I mean they are chipped all over from your rough play and shenanigans but they're all still there.
• you love: playing soccer or football in the front yard or vacant block, being the winner, going to kindy, and singing yourself to sleep.
• your favourite food is: hot chips but only if they have sauce. 
• your best friend is Carter, but you've made some good friends at school (Jaxson, Ethan), you love your footy mates too, Ollie and Toby in particular and Hegalo is a current favourite (Tueila's little brother).
• you hate: Food that doesn't have sauce. Bed time. 
• Funniest saying this year. While doing your homework you look at my hand writing to see the words I've asked you to practice and you look me in the eye, point to the words and say "at school, this is what they'd call quality work mum, great job"
• Most memorable moment this year - Probably having your cousins Dean and Adam sleep over and setting up beds in the lounge room and giggling all night.

10 years old Zoe, and here are all the things I need you to know:

Happy birthday beautiful girl, I cant believe how quickly this has come by and just how much you've grown up over this year. 

 

You're 10 now and we're starting to navigate through some hard lessons and learnings. There's a lot I need you to know now while you still listen to my thoughts and opinions, and this birthday blog is going to be just that, a list of all the important things I want you to cling to as you navigate the next few years. 

1. Don't be the pretty girl who just sits there, you have a voice, use it, be the girl who runs the world

2. It's far more important what's on the inside than what's on the outside - don't waste all your time perfecting the outside and neglecting your insides 

3. I will love you and be here for you until my last breath, you can always turn to me

4. People will put you down, talk behind your back and make you feel insignificant and small, don't let them ruin you, don't let them change who you are

5. Use your voice, be unfiltered and loud

6. Nobody knows what they are doing 100% of the time, don't expect that you should either

7. Make many mistakes, but always learn from them

8. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve

9. Pick your battles

10. Don't make yourself smaller because of others insecurities, their insecurities are their problem not yours. 

If you can take these things and remember them every day then the next few years may just be a little kinder to you. You are such an amazing kid Zoe, you have a spark in you that shines so brightly and I never want to see it dull. 

You've really come into your own this year, you still struggle with being the only girl but having a good group of friends around the street and from netball has helped you worry less about inclusivity with Cooper and the twins. 

You still love to compete, making zone for swimming this year was a real surprise and you did so well. Cross country and Athletics is just around the corner again for school and you're really excited about that. This year both Teulia and yourself tied for the merit award at athletics, the two of you outshine everyone else in your age group and it's probably time we think about moving you back into Canberra for competition if you are still as keen about it next season, though I know you've made some lovely little friends at the stormers. 

Netball has really helped our relationship, the forced 1:1 time you get from me while we are at carnivals has really been good for us, surprisingly you are even liking having me as your coach this year. 

 You changed soccer clubs this year, Mum is still insisting you don't change to all girls teams and first game in you showed the team what you're made of. Despite you confiding in me  you were nervous because you "didn't think you were one of the best players in this team" you kicked a goal and stuck with them. This team will grow your confidence, you'll learn more and it's clear to them now that you can and will keep up with the boys. 

Academically you are smashing it, you've gained so much confidence through changing schools and you've caught right up to where you should be and more. Getting you to read is still like pulling teeth though you do occasionally pick up a book for fun.

You still love the beach, and body boarding every chance you get. This is probably where you feel closest to Coop, out in the surf where it's just you two catching waves and looking out for one another. Holidays with you guys are so wonderful now. 

You're learning having to navigate through unwanted attention from boys. You have more than a few admirers (or so you tell me and honestly who can blame them) and you just aren't there with admiring them like that yet. You are learning that being honest about your feelings is important and setting good friendship boundaries can be hard when someone "likes" you.  You don't let silly school yard crushes stop you from being who you are or stop you from doing what you want to do. Don't ever let that change.

Nothing about you is timid, your tenacity is my favourite thing about you. I love you Zoe. you honestly make me proud every single day. Happy double digit birthday.

You Love: Your friends, netball carnivals, being active, drawing and time with family

Your Best friends are: Teuila, Emmy, Ruby, and Alicia

You play: Athletics, Soccer and Netball and you are still smashing goals with each of them

Your Favourite food is: tuna mornay. 

You hate: Not being able to do the things Coop can because he is older

You want to be: an Athlete and a singer

You have: lost 8 teeth - still holding out on braces for now.

The most memorable events for you: Winning Players Player for the u11 white netball team at the end of 2022. Getting your own little ATM card. Having a go on a biscuit behind a boat on the lake, Stand up paddle boarding with friends at a party and coming top 10 state wide (ACT) for cross country. 

You are:   136.2cm tall

You weight: 30 kg 

I think it's safe to say pre-teen now -- Happy 11th Birthday Coop

Someone hold me. The one that made me mum is 11!

It's honestly true what they say, the days are long but the years are short, and now we are on the precipice of the teenage years, there is no real need for me any more, though he may still want me he really is much more independent than even a year ago.

Over the past few months you've confided in me ever so sweetly about your first crush. You snuggled in for a cuddle and asked me not to laugh at you. We spoke about your crush and what you could do. We spoke about first and foremost respecting her, telling her how you feel, and being a good friend to her regardless of her feelings. I know that if you do that, any girl, be it this one or in the future will realise just how great you are mate. 

We've navigated some pretty interesting conversations coming out of the school playground, I won't embarrass you further by going in to depth but suffice it to say I hope more of these questions can be directed to your Dad in the future. 

Like Zoe we have our fair share of arguments. Unlike Zoe though, they are less emotionally charged, it's more out of frustration over how I am "soooo much stricter" than your friends parents, I wont even entertain the idea of a mobile phone until high school, we don't allow the types of video games, you tube  or apps your friends may have and that makes it hard for you. 

So far the hardest part of parenting is loving you so much you know you are loved but also making sure you don't believe the world (particularly our world)  revolves around you. That's just it though - our whole world changed when you arrived. My life in particular is divided into BC (before Cooper) and AC (after Cooper). I am a completely different person to the one I was before you were born. We want to support you and encourage you and we try to, too hard sometimes I think, probably to the detriment of our own sanity (I'm hoping as an adult you'll read this and wonder just how we managed to do it all - I can tell you mate, we gave ourselves up these last few years for you and your siblings and that was with us setting boundaries and teaching you that YOU aren't the only important person in our family). You hate missing out because the other kids have something on or that I just don't have the energy left to make it happen - and that's the balancing act we juggle between you and your siblings.

You never stop trying to be right, or talking - I honestly have no idea how your teachers tolerate it.

You still really love school and learning, you're interests are more mature now though, learning about history and science. You are still super active, enjoying a range of sports and outdoor activities. Our weekends with you are firmly centred around sporting commitments and friends parties. I don't see that changing any time soon. 

Over this past summer you started up a little weekend business mowing lawns and doing yard work for pocket money. Unfortunately, that can only last so long when every spare moment you have is spent at training. No doubt you'll start back at it over the summer when the days are longer and you only have cricket to compete with.  

This year we also opened you up to music. Your Uncle Michael now spends time with you each week teaching you classical guitar. I just love watching you learn, hearing you pluck at the strings. It's magical. 

For now you still ask me to tuck you in each night, and even after that call to me "good night, see you in the morning" and it melts my heart. You still need a tight hug when you're frustrated but I actually don't remember the last time you reached for my hand to hold.

This year you opted for a very basic store bought ice cream cake for your autumn birthday..... I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about not baking you one. I do hope though that I get to bake for you again next year. 

You'll never know how much I love you Coop. Thanks for making me a mum 11 years ago, it's been the best time of my life. 

11 –

• Height: too tall .... 
• Weight:37 kilo
• Loves: your mates, sport, gaming and fishing
• Best Mates: Liam, Lewis, Sam and Pax
• Hates: Your sister cheating in games, your sister anywhere near you, your sister in general, having to miss something because we have other plans, capsicum, not being able to have your own mobile phone and screen time limits of 1 hour a day.
• Favourite food: pizza – hands down, followed closely by Nachos or Buffalo wings
• Biggest highlight of the year – Kiama treetops zip lining, Cairns and snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef, Fishing out on a boat with Darren and Paxton,  Most Improved Player for 2021 Hockey season. Champions of the 2021 Long weekend Hockey regional Carnival and your first behind in AFL.

High 5 - Happy 5th Birthday Mason

Where do I even begin - how is it that we've reached 5, that kindergarten enrolments have been filed, that you have started junior league and been invited to your first birthday party? How is it that I haven't changed a dirty nappy in a year, that you now dress yourself and happily sing yourself to sleep without a night light? 

Perhaps the very notion of the past few years were caught up in the whirlwind you create with your busy little mind and body every day. You aren't my baby boy anymore - you are a smart, confident, cheeky, brave and boisterous boy.

This year you trotted off to pre-school without a care in the world. "See ya later mum" you called as you proudly walked on in. Apparently you cope much better with sitting still, listening and learning at school than you do at home, but that doesn't really surprise me.

We spent a lot of time together late in 2021 due to shut downs and isolations, I'm still so thankful for that time with you. While I may have found it overwhelming at times, the moments where we could set aside work and focus on fun with you were my favourite of the entire past year. Playing outside and laughing with you are the highlights of my days.

You are very clever. You know your letters and numbers and spend a lot of time still "reading" books.   

You are spending more and more time playing with Zoe which is really nice. You and Zoe are so similar, you love to make believe and play little games with toys. You are both strong voices in this house, demanding things are fair and equal. You always have a go at doing things yourself before asking for help and I really admire that in you. You love to go to the skate park on your bike or scooter and you are desperate for a skateboard next. 

You are social in every sense of the word, preferring the company of others over time alone and your cuddles could heal the world. 

Did I mention already that you are busy. GO GO GO GO GO all the time.  Sitting still takes concentration and being patient is so hard for you. You got your glasses early in 2022, and your Dad and I still can't believe how blind you were without them! When you first put them on, the big smile and excited exclamation "I can see really good now mum" was just so beautiful. You've been a rockstar about taking care of them, making sure they are always clean and out in their case when you're not using them. 

You still reach for my hand at every chance you get and love to sit all over me. I'm starting to forget how fragile you were 5 years ago, I'm starting to miss those moments of you as a baby and while I am so proud of how you are growing up I ache for you to stay this sweet and little for longer.

  

Halloween 2021 was a big highlight for you

   

Mason at 5:

• you are: 112cm tall
• you weigh 18.9 kilo
• you still have all your baby teeth, 
• you love: playing soccer or football in the front yard with Jackson (our neighbour), being the winner, going to pre school and the song "old man emu" by John Williamson
• your favourite food is: hot chips and sauce. 
• your best friend is Carter, but you've made some good friends at school (Jaxson, Mohommed)
• you hate: Showers, not being able to do what Cooper or Zoe are doing.
• you love to say "is that right mum" whenever you state something you think is right. The funniest thing you came out with this year was when Carter said he had a "broken heart because he was blind" you replied with "no, when you're blind you can't smell" 
• biggest event this year - spending a whole week with just Oma and Poppy at Forster doing a few fun camping trips, jumping of the Pier into the water by the lake and getting reading glasses.

Getting your glasses for the first time

It's your 5th birthday Carter

My sweet baby boy - you still remain my quietest and sweet natured child..... until you've got your hands on a football, then you turn into someone I'd liken to a WWE wrestling fan. You are intensely into football and spend 90% of your time playing or practicing. I often look out into the yard and see you commentating your own plays as you practice. It's adorable and oh so fun to watch.

We finally managed to get you in for some speech therapy this year. I know you won't remember but you would often mumble words, run words together and couldn't get your sounds out. Well, that's all turning around. You love speech therapy. You are excited to have your appointments and are proud of how well you are going. You take your "homework" seriously and ask me every day to do "your speech" with you. It's made a big difference in your confidence to speak up at school and to not let Mason dominate conversations. 

You were not shy or uncomfortable or even hesitant to go off to your first day of pre-school, despite being in a different class to Mason. In fact, as much as you love him, I think you liked having a class to yourself. Your little hand slipped out of mine,  let go and walked away into school  without ever looking back. I was so excited  for you and you beamed when I picked you up, full of new found confidence and freedoms. 

You received your first ever merit award for being a good role model at school. You listen and participate and demonstrate such respect for your teacher and coaches. On your birthday you headed off to play footy in Bungendore and came away with best of field and gosh were your proud. 

You are one smart cookie Carter. You learned so quickly to write your name and you love to read all matter of books. You are super intelligent but also so aware of your space. You still recognise when it's too much for you and you still take yourself off to play quietly on your own or put yourself down for a nap. You still love your cuddles and will always let me know when you need attention from me. 

We spent a lot of time together late in 2021 due to shut downs and isolations, I'm still so thankful for that time with you. While I may have found it completely overwhelming at times, the moments where we could set aside work and focus on fun with you were my favourite of the entire past year. Playing outside and laughing with you and your brother are the highlights of my days

You are sweet as sugar and stubborn as rock (particularly around apologising). You are look before you leap and always ask if ever in doubt. You are the Ying to Mason's Yang. You are not my baby any more and I long for these days to go just a little slower.

Carter at 5:

• you are: 113cm tall
• you weigh 19.9 kilo
• you still have all your baby teeth, 
• you love: playing  football in the front yard with Jackson (our neighbour), being Cooper's shadow, sleep and food.
• your favourite food is: Spaghetti or Nachos. 
• your best friend is Mohammad at school
• you hate: People (Mason) talking over you. 
• My most favourite thing you've said this year was whenever I said I had an appointment you'd say "for your eyebrows mum?" because you remember that one time i took you to my eye brow appointment.. and it was clearly a highlight 
• biggest event this year - spending a whole week with just Oma and Poppy at Forster, going on lots of fun camping trips and catching 21 fish in the space of 90 mins on holidays.

On cloud 9..... Happy Birthday Zoe

2022 and 9 years old. 

Another lap around the sun with you darling daughter and what a lap it's been. In the past 12 months you've suffered through more remote learning and lockdowns thanks to a pre Christmas COVID surge, changed schools, been selected for representative netball, been vaccinated, suffered from COVID infection, had 2 trips to Cairns to visit the Corwell's cancelled, finally getting there in April this year, loved having your cousin Hannah back in Australia and absolutely turned a corner with you reading and spelling.

  The tail end of 2021 was really uneventful for us as a family. We spent July through October in lockdown during remote learning and even after that we thrust in and out of isolation periods due to contact exposures through Dads work and the boys daycare. 

It was a rough end to the year for you, but in some ways I really think it helped you to focus on the new year and school ahead.

As you'll remember Dad and I decided to have you repeat year 3 in your new school. It meant that you would be able to compete with peers in Cross country and sports Carnivals and we believed it would help you gain confidence back with your reading and spelling. It wasn't long into your new school when during a parent teach interview the teacher remarked how well you are doing in class academically with the goals we'd set for you and how well liked and popular you were in class. You are thoughtful, kind, competitive and you won't be bullied or let others be bullied. 3 weeks in and you were running for Student Representative Council (you didn't get nominated this year, but I am sure you will in the future). 

We are still having disagreements, mostly over Cooper's growing independence and your lack there of.  It's hard being a mum and raising a daughter. The world just isn't as safe for you as it is for Cooper and rightly or wrongly I need to protect you from it for a little longer. I know it seems unfair, and believe me when i tell you baby girl I never wanted to be this way, but the truth is its safer for Cooper and his mates to walk to the shops alone than it is for you and your friends to, and it's hard to understand and I know how unfair it feels, but I so wish you wouldn't fight me so hard every time on this. Give me time, another year and maybe I'll be more comfortable with it. 

Living with the twins breaks your heart these days. You used to be their whole world, they were yours and yours alone but now that's changed. They aren't interested in anything other than what Cooper is doing, where Cooper is, what Cooper's eating. There are the odd occasions where they may tolerate having their nails painted or the faces plastered with make up, but as a whole you spend a lot of time angry and crying about having no one who loves you, how no one understands that your'e a girl and don't want to do "boy" things, and how you don't feel like anybody wants you around. I know it's hard for you, but it's also hard for me to hear this. I feel you are being well over dramatic, I try to support you and spend time with just you but it's not enough for you. It's not my time you want. You want to feel included and loved by your brothers. . They do love you..... we all love you, as the only daughter in my family, I understand more than anyone how it feels to be left out, but it's hurting you and you find it hard to control that emotion these days and we fight so much because of it. I just want you to be resilient, care free and I want you to not care about being included and just be your own person. Yet, you just can't get past it and it hurts me that we fight about this over and over and over again. It's my fear that you'll "run away" one of these days if I cant find a solution that works for you, I want you to know I have tried and I'm still trying to have you understand that you are so important to this family, whether you feel it now or not.  We're trying our best as parents Zoe and I hope when these next hormone charged years are behind us you'll see that.

With all that said though you still call out from bed each night "good night mum, have a good sleep, see you in the morning, I love you", you still run to me for kisses goodbye before school, for hugs at the end of the day. While we fight, we still love on each other every single day. I've never been the mum into nails or make overs, I know you find it frustrating that most of the playing I do with you kids is outdoors, kicking balls, riding bikes, going on adventures and not craft (which you still love by the way. Remember the awful parrot I painted when I tried really hard to do something you enjoyed baby girl). That's why your selection in the Yass u11 representative netball side was such a great thing for us. I absolutely adore watching you play and the carnivals are giving us a real chance to spend some time alone together. I love watching you run, I love your feisty soccer games, I love your spirit. I genuinely love everything about you.

Even though this year has been hard for us it won't surprise you that I still think you are the most amazing human being. I am honestly so lucky I get to call you my girl. I am in awe of your confidence and grit. You continue to be our little pocket rocket, your smile lights the room, you are absolute perfection and I am incredibly proud of the young lady we are raising. 

You are my Warrior woman 💖

Happy birthday my darling, you are truly wonderful. We love you. 

You Love: Athletics and running, netball carnivals, playing on the street with the neighbours till the street lights come on, 

Your Best friends are: Sophia, Teullia, Milla, Fatiha, Leah and Emmy

You play: Athletics, Soccer and Netball and boy do you push hard at all of them.

Your Favourite food is: tuna mornay, subway and sushi - nothing much has changed there

You hate: Rules, being the only girl, any meal with red meat - though I insist you eat it 

You want to be: an Athlete and a singer

You have: lost 6 teeth - and we are about to embark on your orthodontic journey to braces

The most memorable events for you: Kiama tree top zip lining, snorkelling the great barrier reef, flying on your very first plane, staying with the Cordwells in Cairns

You are - 134cm tall

You weigh   29.7kilo

A double digit birthday - Cooper

 

Doubt Digits – ten years old already

 

Well shit mate, here we are. Me struggling to get through the very thought of writing this, you asleep soundly in you room oblivious to the big emotions I’m feeling as I watch you grow up, as you verge on the edge of a double digit birthday.

Your room smells like boy now and it is no longer that sweet baby boy smell.  You’ve asked me once or twice recently if I can buy you deodorant, I’ve been reluctant, more in denial than anything, but honestly it’s probably time now. This double digit birthday is a big one for you, for one you’ve asked repeatedly since your 6^th birthday to be able to play fortnite with your friends, my response has always been “when you turn ten” and now you’re here and I’m wishing I’d said thirteen. Secondly after last year you get to have all your mates around, nerf war fighting and having fun.

 

Now lets talk about your last 12 months, 2020 was tough for many, but boy oh boy was it tough on you.  The first week of lock down saw you face down on the trampoline angry and upset beyond words that you couldn’t be with your friends. Then there was 6 weeks of zero technology at the farm, no sport, no sleepovers, no fun….. until there was. School went back face to face, sport recommenced, I started to feel comfortable letting you hang out with your friends – and then we moved. We tried to sell the move to you by giving you the biggest room all to yourself, the freedom of being able to walk around / ride around the neighbourhood and down to the shops without my watchful eyes over you, the yard space, membership to the pool….. but none of that mattered. You hated adjusting to having a room to yourself, you suddenly became afraid of shadows and the dark because of the sound and darkness of the country at night. You hated that play dates had to be planned, that I would not just let you go to someone’s house after school any more or between trainings and you weren’t impressed with the bus ride into and home from school a couple of times a week.  Then there was Pax, your very best mate from the age of 3, a mate you spent 6, sometimes 7 days a week with year-round moving to Cairns. I could see how much that hurt you, for a while you felt a little lost, getting in trouble at school, issues with other kids, really unleashing all your frustrations for things out of your control onto me. It was hard for me to help you through last year with so much change, but with a new year came a new you and you started to thrive again, you’ve still got some of that lingering attitude but I’m assured that that’s just how it’s going to be for the next few years, and reading back on this I hope you can now understand why your Dad and I made the decisions that we did. We did them for you, to shape you into the man we want you to become, someone resilient, fair, kind, and strong with good leadership qualities and an understanding of what a supportive family unit looks like.

 

No surprised that another year means another sport, this year trying your hand at hockey and as always it seemed to come fairly naturally to you. I’m pretty proud of the fact you are willing to try to have a go at almost anything and you always do so with focus and determination.  Your cricket season last year was no different either, deciding that you weren’t a pace bowl but a leg spinner you convinced the coach to let you work on that and you got better and better each game. You ended up taking out the coaches award for persevering and practicing your spin with real dedication and commitment.

 Academically you still do really well at school, with the biggest complaint from teachers being that a) you are too talkative and b) you help others too much and don’t enable them to figure it out themselves.

 I’m not quite ready for 10 and what happens after it, all the books I read tell me I have to keep insisting on hugging you and spending time supporting your interests, hearing you (no matter how brain numbing I find the discussion about Minecraft to be), challenging you to be independent and to take calculated risks and setting clear boundaries and sticking to them. All of that seems easy enough when you read it, lets hope it is just that, that parenting you remains as fuss free (for the most part) over the next year as it has up until this point.

 

 I love you kid. I know I’m tough on you but god I love you. I love the person you are becoming and the place you have in this family. Keep being you Coop and you will achieve whatever it is that you have your sights on. Happy 10th birthday I am so very proud of you. 

10 –

• Height: too tall .... i'll have to remember to measure you and add it later
• Weight:33 kilo
• Loves: your mates, sport, gaming and reading.
• Best Mates: Liam, Lewis, Sam, Pax and Issac R
• Hates: Your sister intruding on your space, screen time limits, homework that’s prescribed by mum, heights and capsicum.
• Favourite food: pizza – hands down.
• Biggest highlight of the year – returning to face to face schooling, first place in the 2021 100m back stroke, coming in runners up as best and fairest for the 2020 footy season, climbing Mt  Kosciuszko and holidaying for a week with Liam at Forster last winter holidays.