So, pregnant women everywhere will tell you by 30 weeks you are dying to reclaim your own body.... 30 weeks with twins is sheer torture. You are stretched beyond what you thought was capable, the pressure is unbearable down there (and mine weren't head down) the cramped feeling of your lungs crushing your rib cage is something you never get used to, the reflux - omg the reflux!!!
I cried every night begging for 37 weeks to hurry up and get there and every morning until then I asked Cooper to help roll me out of bed and put my shoes on before leaving for work.
At 35 weeks I had gained just over 20 kilo, I felt like a whale, surely the end was near..... I kept working to try to help the days go quicker, I kept keeping up with the big kids sporting commitments hoping that the walking or exhaustion might induce labour..... at 35 +3, on mothers day I lay in bed at 2am for the 4th night in a row sleepless due to irregular Braxton hicks contractions. At 9am I was standing on the side line of a little league game cheering Cooper on when I said to Simon, todays the day, I think they'll come today.
I agreed to go to lunch at the local club for mothers day and in the middle of lunch I had a contraction so strong I decided I should call my midwife and asked if I could come in and be monitored for a while. We rushed lunch and all 4 of us went to TCH - not expecting I'd be staying I left everything at home.
At 35+3 with regular contractions I agreed to steroid shots to help develop the boys lungs just in case, contractions kept coming and I agreed to a drug to slow my labour until a second dose of steroids could be given in 24 hours time.... the boys were both transverse and that meant I'd be having a caesarean if things didn't stop.
Simon took the kids to my brothers place and picked up my things. While he was away contractions persisted and it was obvious I wasn't going to make it another 24 hours, a decision was made to try morphine in the hope I could last until 12 hours to give the second dose of steroids earlier..... in hindsight I wish I had listened to my instincts and rejected the morphine because truth be told I knew nothing would stop my labour. 2 hours later I was shaking, adrenaline was kicking in and I'd dilated 5cms. It was 11pm on the 14th of May and it was then the Drs uttered the words emergency C section and while I was relieved, I was anxious about the effect of the morphine on my two new babies and I was nervous about them being so premature.
Having only ever had natural deliveries before I was totally overwhelmed be the procedure. First and foremost new mummies to be, your husband doesn't get to stay with you through the preparation. He'll be allowed into the room just before your babies are delivered. So here I was alone yet surrounded by at least 14 other people in a tiny room. My mid wife kept assuring me this was all normal, but as I saw the NICU doctors wheel in 2 tiny ressuss beds I began to panic. I wanted Simon next to me, I wanted him to tell me it was going to be ok.
The moment the epidural goes in is kinda amazing. All of a sudden all the pain you feel from the weight of the babies is gone, the pain from contractions is over, all you can feel is the pulling and pressure of surgeons hands and nothing more.
Simon finally entered the room and sat with me assuring me it would all be ok. First at 12:34am on the 15th of May came Mason, and it was deadly quiet for what felt like the longest amount of time. His little cry became my favourite sound in the whole world when it finally came. They dug around up under my ribs and I felt an almighty tug and at 12:36am my beautiful Carter was born.
Suddenly the people who surrounded me no longer surrounded me, they were now surrounding Carter still silent in the ressuss bed. They called Simon over and I have never felt so alone "why isn't he crying" I kept saying.... "what's wrong" everything went unanswered and I was petrified.
Finally there was the cry I was so desperate to hear, the midwife came over with Simon and they placed Mason in my arms telling me everything was OK but both babies needed to go to intensive care. Carter received the neopuff and I briefly held him before they whisked the boys away with Simon to NICU and I was placed alone in recovery unable to see my boys again until morning.
I started pumping that night and kept asking the nurses to deliver the milk for my boys, it was all I could do for them until morning when for the very first time I could have skin to skin and hold my two new absolutely perfect boys.
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