Custard Carter - 7 years old

You still love every ball sport ever, You're not allowed to take balls to school now, because apparently it always ends in too much competition. You still crack me up with how much you love to play and commentate your own plays. School is still going well for you. You have found your own condifidence away from Mason, you have your own voice in the school yard and you absoluetly love Math. You need a bit of encouragement to read.You dont enjoy it and you struggle with it. I guess it all ties in with your speech delays. Theyu are basically non existenyt now though, although when you get excited you still stumble over a few words! I'll pop in on the record now, as your mum, I would hedge my bets to say you have some dyslexia like your sister. We'll keep working at it and I know you'll find your way with reading soon enough.

You still love a cuddle, you still reach for my hand and you are still full of kisses before bedtime. You are more open with your feelings now, it's obvious when youre upset, because you still recluse, but you're also much more vocal in standing up for yourself. The other kids are convinced you're my favourite. I dont have a favourite, but I can see why they'd think that. Youre softer natured than the other boys, well, thats not exactly true, Coop once used to be like you are. Sweet, kind and always checking on me. I give you longer cuddles because you dont let go as swiftly as the others do. You still love your league, watching it, playing it, practicing it. You are not a fan of summer touch. Its just not suited to your strong heavy body. You my dear are strong, at athletics you have such great strength in throws!

I often wonder if its because you boys have each other, but the friendship ties you and Mase have reant as strong as Coopers. Dont get me wrong you enjoying playing with your mates, and beg mne to take you to birthday parties but it's different. You are far more content playing at home or out on the street with the kids than with your school mates. Different interests I guess? You are an outdoors kid, happy fishing, camping, riding your bike.... I get the sense your school friends are more into video games. I adore how much you love watching Cooper and his mates. You genuinely believe his friends are your friends, and youre lucky because they all love when you tag along (Coop not so much).

Theres not a single Rushby kid who loves Forster as much as you do. You love the waves, the body boarding, the fishing and snorkling. You are so brave out there, happily snorkling for as long as I'll let you, venturing well out of my reach to following fish or to see an octopus or string ray. You make my heart sing. I am so proud of who you are becoming Carter. Keep doing you mate, the world is your oyster!

you are: 1.28cm tall you weigh 24.5 kilo You've lost 5 baby teeth you love: playing football, playing starwars lego on PS5, fishing your favourite food is: anything that Cooper likes, but also spag bol and tuna morney your best friend is Mason but you play with Jordan and Ethan at school and Ollie is still a footy favourite. you hate: When Cooper just wants to play with his mates, Zoe bossing you around. Reading. The funniest thing out of your mouth this year after winning best on ground at footy one week "I really deserved this, I made some really great tackles today" - and you know what bud, you really did!

Mustard Mason - 7 years old

You are firey and loud, you are caring and strong, you are smart and curious. A world without Mason is a world i wouldnt want to live in. This past year you have thrived at reading, you love asking questions, decoding words and independantly thinking about things. You deeply care about your family and closest friends, often coming in after playing our on the street with tears in your eyes because you think you've hurt someones feelings. You love the rules, but gosh you always teeter on the edge of wanting to break them all. Especially when you are with your cousins. You love time on the farm when Dean and Adam are there, you relish time at Forster and are getting braver and braver in the water. You spend countless hours ourside playing. although I quickly tire of the constant in and out of the house on weekends I know eventually I will forget the chaos

of you with the kids on Disco drive playing, laughing getting into mischief! Your teacher for year 2, Ms Helen Hardy has been a godsend, you adore her and show such respect in class for learning. You remind me so much of Cooper at this age when everything his teachers said was gospel, even when its not! During school holidays you will often spend a day or three on the farm and while you always come back tired you come back happy, with wide open eyes, filled with stories of driving the truck with poppy or hearing about the bear stories Oma tells of Canada.

This past year we’ve supported you in playing footy, soccer and even athletics. We’ve been to parks, zoos and sporting events, we’ve camped by the river, paddleboarded, been on boats and swam in oceans. I've spent my days and nights watching you grow and grow and grow inside and out! You make me smile so big! You and Carter have sleep overs every week in each others beds. I wonder if that will ever stop. I find it unlikely, you still insist when you grown up and get married you are Carter will share a bed and your respective wives will share another.... gosh I hope they're a twin pair too, or they might find it very odd! You love to hear Cooper cheer for you at games, you love to tackle hard and pride yourself on being able to out run most players. No special cake request this year, which both made me incredibly sad but in our busy lives also very grateful. Instead you instisted on dinner at the soilders club with whatever you wanted for dessert!

Your best friends are: Carter, Ashlyn Kerr, Ethan, Ollie and Brock. You have 4 adult teeth You play league, soccer, touch and athletics You love spending time with the kids on the street, PlayStation games, reading, when Charlie elf arrives, time with me alone. Favourite food: Nachos, Tacos or Burrittos. Barbeto sauce (a concoction of tomato and BBQ sauce youve made up) You hate: when things aren’t fair, tomatos, red onion Carter not sharing, being left out. The funniest thing you said this year "look at that sign (no left turn sign) is says no throwing boomarangs" You are 127cm tall Your weight: 23kg

Our first teenager_ Happy 13th Birthday Coop

 This year I'm going to attack this entry a different way. Each big moment has a title and a little blub about my thoughts on it. There is nothing that you do that doesn't make me immensely proud. From giving NRL another go, to jumping on a plane completely solo to Cairns and all your amazing accomplishments at high school, you make my life so worth while and I think you are growing into the most amazing man. 

Puberty: Look I'll be honest, there really haven't been that many teenage blow ups, but you have stepped right on the puberty train. The boys will often comment about the physical changes in your body which you always reply "its normal, one day it'll happen to you too". You are close to 164cm. This time next year you'll tower over me. Your shoulders are broad but you still have a slight boyish look to your grin.

Sport: In the past 12 months you really shone with your Hockey, you trialed for the u14s ACT school Hockey side and made shadow for the team.  We travelled up to Tamworth for NSW State Titles for Hockey and you had a really cracking competition, coming away 4th. You took out most improved for your Wests team after narrowly missing out on winning the grand final for a second year in a row, going down to Central again. It was your second year of AFL and you really came into your own. As one of the bigger kids you put your body on the line each game winning Runners up best and fairest  this year. Never letting anyone tell you what you cant do, you even joined the Yass girls at the Young Cherry Festival netball Gala weekend, wearing your tie-dyed tee shirt and having the best time playing with Zoe and Bronte and Abby. Your final memorable sporting moment is your first season of touch footy. I'm not sure why you thought you should give it a go but in the summer of 23/24 you played socially to try to make friends before you started High School. From there you backed yourself to try out for the Representative team and found yourself travelling to carnivals with a great bunch of boys.

The unholy trinity  (You, Liam & Lewis) at Graduation

Your year 6 graduation: Boy did I cry. I cried for the weeks leading into it, the day, the night and then for a few days afterward. I was not expecting to be so emotional about it, I think it was a culmination of being glad to be done with St Matts, feeling like I was going to be losing my solid mum friendships and nerves for you leaving the security of your friends for the unknown of Yass High School.

Girls: While you and Bronte managed to stay really good friends (almost best friends I'd say), towards the end of 2023 you and Abby McEvoy decided to "go steady". You spent a lot of the summer together and I get the sense you really liked her so it hurt when she broke up with you a text message. From there you really had quite the string of short relationships.

Your first solo flight to Cairns for a week camping with Paxton: What an amazing experience this was for you. In Sept 2023 I drove you to Sydney and popped you on a plane direct to Cairns, you literally didnt even bat and eye. Through the doors you went onto that plan and up to camp, hike and explore Cairns with the Cordwells. They took you back up through the Daintree on the skyrail, took on the BIG FISHY speed boat and headed off camping where you had the time of your life! I felt like when you returned home and I picked you up again from the airport you'd grown so much emotionally. You had this new twinkle in your eye, like you knew the world was now at your feet.

A phone: ugh, this one i'm not proud of. I wish I could have been a stronger parent and said no, but how could I? You were starting a new school where you would have been immediately outcaste for not being connected. You spend entirely way too long doom scrolling that thing. I have stood firm on tik tok but caved on snap chat.... dont ask my logic, i dont know why, I guess one brain numbing platform is enough and Snap chat is the only way your friends communicate plans. 

High School: Like a duck to water. you have nailed stepping into highschool. You've found a great bunch of friends, work hard to achieve good marks and so far not a single phone call from the school about you jumping in class (if you know you know). You even, made it through (surprising yourself and me) to Regional XC. So far it's been a breeze. 

So here's to your 13th year mate. Keep smiling, keep talking to me and keep being you, because you're pretty freaking amazing!

Best Mates: Liam Carter, Travis Rattenbury, Bronte Brown, Lachlan Griffiths. Lewis Kelsey.
Shoe Size: 11
All your adult teeth
Weight: 41kg
Height: 164cm

High School Photo

Last day Primary School

Fav Song: Give it Away - Red Hot Chilli Peppers Fav Book: Hunger Games Fav Movie: Grown ups 2 Food: Nachos Favoutite subject at school: Maths and History You play: AFL, Hockey, Touch Footy, Rugby League You love: Camping, swimming, video games, fishing and hanging out with mates

Our only daughter turns 11

 

Happy Birthday my darling daughter, another lap around the sun and what a year you've had! Gosh we are so proud of you; of your grit, determination, motivation and pursuit of excellence in everything that you do. You continue to shine at school, determined to be a school leader in year 6 next year, you have taken on band, competed for the school in all sorts of sports and continue to work hard on your academics through assignments and tests. 

You and I have really come together this year. We are fighting less and spending more time together. We spent hours making friendship bracelets and our costumes for the ERAs tour together. You are less critical of me after each coaching session for netball and carnivals. You fight me less on home work, and for the most part I never have to remind you to do chores, band practice, training and homework. You've started getting more freedom, going on walks with friends, having your own spriggy card to buy clothes or certain things you might want. You are still the apple of your Dads eye, batting those eyelashes to bend him to your will. Things with Cooper are less volatile it seems, you give him more space and he compliments you on occasion.

Things I can say to describe you through this year: 

An absolute fire cracker, spicy when you need to be but also caring, kind and thoughtful. 

The most wonderful big sister, patient and protective.  

A fierce friend, loyal to those you love. You cheer your friends on even when they are competing against you. 

You show sportsmanship and grace in defeat, and modesty in your wins.

I tell you this all the time but you make me proud every day. There is nothing that you wont try, and if you don't succeed first time, you will try over and over again until you do. Your grandparents all adore you, you love to spend time with Oma and Grandma in their kitchens (probably a reflection of me not being able to spend that type of time in the kitchen as we run between practices). Your teachers and friends parents all praise your manners and behaviour and it's so amazing to know that you are growing into a polite and respectful pre teen. Also how did we get to pre teen? This will be the hormone hijacking year no doubt. I can already see some small physicals changes and I'm nervous to say the least. 

We got you an athletics coach this year and it's really nice to see you so happy training for jumps, but also learning how to pace your longer runs, hurdle with good technique and leap further in triple jump. 

This year I want you to focus on the things that make you happy. Enjoy the little things, and don't let people dictate what you say, do, think and believe in. Keep that spirit and joy alive. Try your hardest, set those goals and believe in yourself. There are enough years ahead where self doubt creeps in, dont let this be the year. Forget your haters, leave the so called friends who dont cheer you on behind, surround yourself with people who inspire you and encourage you to do your best and who are proud of you when you do. Be you Zoe, because you are perfect just the way you are and thats the girl I love and the girl who inspires me the most.

You are:

Weight: 32.4 kilo

Height: 143cm

Favourite food: tuna morney

Favourite singer: Taylor Swift, 

Favourite song: Are you ready for it? T.S

Best Friends: Teuila, Ruby and Phoebe

Hates: Liars and Bullies

You play: Athletics, Soccer, Touch footy and Netball and you are still smashing goals with each of them

You want to be: an Athlete and a singer

The years Highlights:

ACT school Athletics championships, where you jumped a new state record of 127cm in high jump.

Being selected to represent the ACT at the school sport Athletics Championships in Tasmania, placing 12th nationally in high jump and narrowly missing Bronze in the 4x100 relay.

Receiving a recognition award from School Sport ACT  as a nominee to the All Rounder Award.

Going to Taylor Swift sold out ERAs tour in Sydney

Winning Best and Fairest at the 2023 Netball Presentation.

Winning the 2023 female achievement award for soccer.

Selected for school band in 2024 where you are learning Clarinet.

Dressing as Wednesday Adams for Halloween

You, Teuila, Ruby and Alicia after Leeton Touch

   You, in Launceston, TAS for school
sport Championships

Receiving your Recognition award at 
ACT School Sport awards

Touch ready with Teuila and Phoebe

The time of our lives at the ERAs tour 25th Feb 2024

12 years old, your first girlfriend and a first kiss_Happy Birthday Cooper

 Where as the time gone? Another lap around the sun and here you are turning 12! 

Still asking me to bake your cakes

I remember back to when you were turning 1, that first twelve months was a year of so many firsts; first steps, first words, first tooth, first Christmas. I feel like the firsts started to slow after that, but here we are again and the firsts are back. 

In the past 12 months you set of on your first school camp (Birragi), and your second (Jindabyne). You asked your first girlfriend out and had your first heart break when she broke up with you 3 months later because it was easier to be friends. Don't worry too much about it, you bounced right back a few weeks later with your second girlfriend and first kiss. You went to your first concert (Red Hot Chili Peppers)You had your first day of the last year of primary school. Your first best batsman trophy in cricket and sportsmanship award for little athletics. It's been a big year for you and I feel as though it's only getting bigger for here. 

I cant keep the food into you. You never stop eating, but you're also a thin as a rake; dangly, lanky and long. You are constantly out with mates, at sport, training or just out on your bike with mates on the street or at the skate park. Getting you to stay home is impossible if the weather is nice.

Another thing I cant get you to do is tidy you room or make your bed.

You had a great end to year 5 and have started our year 6 with an academic bang. You are however very ready to for the next step, for high school, for some more freedom. The tediousness of "daily five" "hot reads" "inquiry unit" and religion have you wanting to branch out in your learning. 

out of the dam with Bronte, Zoe and Jamo

You and Bronte before Yass
 street fair

You've excelled at sport again this year, but gosh I find it frustrating that you just wont practice to really get the edge. You have such natural athleticism, but you definitely don't have the drive your sister does. 

You've mellowed out with your siblings this year, practicing patience with Carter as he follows you around like a bad smell, and not baiting Zoe when you can see she's on the precipice of a breakdown. 

You still ask for me to put you to bed, allow me to cuddle you and let me in on silly jokes or riddles you've seen online. 

This year:

First Girlfriend: Bronte Brown (a lovely Yass girl, and a brilliant netballer)

First Kiss; Milla Shelton (your second girlfriend, who lived just down the road, I believe the kiss came about through a game of spin the bottle in our garage one afternoon, or so I'm led to believe)

Fav Song: I got you on my mind ~ Powderfinger

Fav Book: Hunger Games

Fav Movie: Grown ups 2

Food: Nachos

Favoutite subject at school: Maths

You play: AFL, Hockey, Athletics, Cricket

You love: Camping, swimming, video games and hanging out with mates

Your best mates: Liam, Lewis, Paxton, Nick

I wish I'd measured you, but I'd say you are around 162cm, you'll have me beat for height by the end of the year I'd say

Weight: around 40 kilo

LOVE YOU MATE..... ALWAYS.

p.s promise I haven't shared your text messages

 any further than this 💓 Mum x

Dearest Cooper, on your Primary School Graduation

 This hurts my heart, but at the same time it swells with pride. I cant believe we have reached this milestone as quickly as we have. In the thick of it all it seemed so long, but in a blink it's all over. As you know and can plainly se this big step for you is one that I have a hard time fighting my emotions with. Your Dad and I have done our very best to prepare you for this next chapter, for high school, for independent learning and learning from mistakes. We know that you'll grab this next step with both hands and smash it. 

We have loved watching your fierce friendships develop with your primary school mates, I love your brilliant questioning mind and how excited you can get over things that interest you while learning. We love your passion for sport, competition and how you care and include others. 

As you move on to this next chapter, please be patient with Dad and I. Remember that we have suffered through the teenage years, felt similar feelings, emotions and frustrations, though there's a key difference, we did it without social media, snap chat, instant video cameras and cyber bullying. We want you to always feel like no matter how big or small you think a worry or problem is that we will always listen. It'll be tempting for us to solve your problems, to tell you that none of it will matter in the future, to tell you what you should do, but we will try to first and foremost listen and try to let you navigate these things on your own. Trust yourself, you will know deep down what to do or say. 

There is nothing that you can say or do that will stop us loving, caring or protecting you so please keep talking to us about your life, your troubles, your goals and your mistakes. 

It'll be tempting for you to brake rules, to follow friends who may make the wrong choice and that's OK. That's all part of growing, but follow your instincts where you can, we've taught you right from wrong, you've proved to us that we can trust who you are, to do the right thing, please keep doing the right thing, even if it makes you unpopular for the briefest of moments. 

Promise me you'll never drink drive, never get into a car of someone who is drink driving, do whatever you can to stop your mates from making that mistake. Please don't vape or smoke. I'd say no hard drugs, but I feel like that's all part of life. Just be smart, make smart decisions and always call me if you feel like you might be in trouble. 

It hurts my heart mate that you grew so fast. Please be patient as I let go into the world, It's hard for mums. 

Our best mates, Liam and Em, Lewi and Vic

We are so proud of who you are

We are always here for you

We are always rooting for you

Work hard

Achieve your goals

and know that we love you and there is always someone who wants you to come back home. 

EDIT: attached is a photo of the letter you wrote us for your graduation. I thought it would be nice to have this saved here too. 

Over worked, stressed, stretched to the max, but sure I'll be the teams coach this year.......

 Have you ever seen the twitter by Lurkin'Mom that circulates the internet? 

This resonates with me immensely. As a full time working mum of 4 active kids I certainly shouldn't feel guilty if I don't stick my hand up to assist a club or team. I could be forgiven for just turning up dropping my kids at practice or the game and returning to collect them once its all done right? Then why do I have a such a hard time saying no? This year alone I have managed a Stage 2 cricket side, a Division 1 club hockey team, a U13s state championship hockey team, I've been the u10s age manager for a little athletics club, a touch team manager, a club netball team coordinator, a Rep netball team coach and an Associations registrar. This backs on to years of managing and coaching my kids teams across a variety of sports. so WHY? Why do I consistently put my hand up, when I am overwhelmed, exhausted, time poor, stressed and emotionally drained from balancing normal work life duties as a mum? 

A huge part of it is because there are so many people out there who wont do it, have no interest in doing it and would happily see the club fall apart before volunteering some of their time each week to help (oh but don't worry, they'll whine and complain about the way the clubs run, or that I could do XYZ better or that my kid is only selected because I'm involved in the club). I remember growing up and seeing my parents do the exact same thing, year in and year out because no one else would. Without them, without me, without these poor overworked parents sticking their hands up the clubs don't function and kids miss out.  I also want all my kids to know that I care and take an interest in their passions. Sure there are teams that probably think the same of me as I rush to kick one kid out the car door before rushing to be somewhere else for another child and that's where the guilt kicks in. The parents and club people of that sport probably look at me and think I don't care, I'm not invested, it's not like I can walk around with badges like a girl scout with all my extra curricular activities listed on the breast of my work clothes so that people can see I am involved. Maybe I'm on to something with that idea......

I don't know if its because I'm approaching 40, or if it's just something people do as they age but I've been thinking more around how nurture shaped who I am, and how I respond to things, and what I might need to do to actively not pass certain things on to my children through my parenting. I've started listening to this podcast by Esther Parel "where should we begin" and without going into too much details there's this concept around your family of origin being autonomy or loyalty. 

I was bought up in autonomy, set up to be self sufficient, seeing asking for help as a weakness, repeating things until I could do them successfully on my own. There was never a village to work through things, my parents also never had the luxury of family living close by, so as they struggled with working and raising kids, bringing them up to be independent and autonomous was essential. I never saw this as a negative early on. Through my 20s autonomy served me really well. I understood that I could do things on my own, that if I worked hard, was persistent,  I could achieve things without help, I never needed to rely on my partner or friends or family. Its only now as a mother struggling to understand how other parents can palm their kids off every other week and have wider family support and run kids around to things without feeling guilty do I realise that autonomy isn't always ideal. Simple things like when Simon asks if I need a hand with dinner or hanging laundry where I should say "YES" to ease the burden I say "NO" because I'm capable of doing it all by my self. Until I'm not. Until I've taken on to much, until I'm managing or coaching every team my kids are involved with. 

It all comes down to my deep ingrained belief that if I'm not filling every waking moment of my day with something productive that I'm lazy and I've come to realise this all stems from my upbringing. Never being able to sleep past 8am because I was wasting the day, never sitting for more than 30 minutes at a time because something needed doing, I should be helping someone with chores, or farm work or housework, never just having a moment to be still. I don't remember my parents ever telling me I was lazy, but I know there was just this general expectation to always be doing somethin, to be achieving something. To not waste time. So here I am at 39 unable to relax, unable to say no, unable to ask for help. It's actually ironic, because it's the man (my dad) who made sure I was never lazy and always doing something that often tells me to stop doing so much, to stop scheduling the kids activities, to stop being involved and give my self time to relax. I suppose as you get older you get better and being forced to slow down. 

So the question now is, has my parenting forged the way for this same burden on my kids? Is it too late to lean into "loyalty" for them? Can I fix this? I don't know....

For now, I'm going to start scheduling "down time" for my kids, time to be alone, relaxed. While I know they are capable, I'm going to help them with simple tasks so they know I'm always there for help. I'll allow myself time where the kids can see me doing nothing and know that sometimes doing nothing is OK. I'll say yes when their dad asks if I need help. I'll give them a mental health day a term, where they can just chose not to go to school, take a day and just chill at home. 

And kids, if you are ever reading this, please know I give you permission to say NO, to ask for help (even as an adult), to take a day every now and then and just be "lazy" .....